


One Last Time

by Queenie4ever



Category: Queen (Band)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-13
Updated: 2019-01-13
Packaged: 2019-10-09 12:49:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17407217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Queenie4ever/pseuds/Queenie4ever
Summary: Set in 2018. Brian meets up with an old friend.





	One Last Time

Brian May walked into a small London coffee shop, hoping to go unrecognized. His jacket collar was turned up, and he wore a hat to cover the unruly mop of long white curls beneath. The place was nearly deserted at that time of day, but to be safe, he chose a table in the back. He ordered a cappuccino and looked at his watch. _Late_ , he observed. The waitress soon reappeared with his espresso drink which he sipped while carefully watching the door. He found himself feeling a bit nervous. How long had it been since they last saw each other?

Several minutes passed, and a man entered, looked about, and made a beeline for Brian. “You’re here,” he said, lowering himself into the facing chair. “I wasn’t sure you would be.”

“Your email said it was important.”

The waitress approached them and took the man’s order of coffee. It gave Brian time to study him. His friend looked much older than his sixty-seven years. He was almost completely bald now and had a decided paunch. Brian wondered if _he_ had changed that much. He supposed he probably had. “Deaky—”

“John,” the man corrected him. “It’s John now.”

“Okay—John. So what are we doing here today, not that I’m not happy to see you?”

Deacon’s voice quavered. “I feel I need to explain things, things I should have told you a long time ago.” He caught Brian’s eye and looked away.

“You don’t owe me any explanations,” Brian assured him. “But what’s brought this on now?”

“It’s that damned movie. It’s stirred everything up again.” John ran his hands over his face. “I can’t go outside my house without someone snapping a photo or asking me to sign something. It’s a nightmare.”

Brian listened sympathetically. He knew how much his reclusive former bandmate valued his privacy. “I know, and I’m sorry about that. I expect it’ll die down again in time.” He changed the subject. “Have you seen the movie?”

John took a swallow of his coffee and didn’t answer straight away. Finally, he admitted, “I saw it.”

“What did you think?”

“The kid playing Freddie was okay, I guess.”

“We were lucky to find him. The prick they hired first wanted to turn the whole thing into a sordid tell-all.”

“Well, there’s certainly no shortage of sordid tales to tell.”

Brian found himself bristling at that. “I don’t remember your scruples being so high at the time.”

John didn’t defend himself. Instead, he changed the subject, “I heard you finally got your Ph.D. I suppose I’ll have to call you Dr. May now.”

The astronomer flashed an embarrassed grin. “It only took me thirty years.”

“Do you see much of Roger these days?”

“We’ve both been involved with the film but before that, not really. He’s married again, you know—to a woman named Sarina.”

“Probably someone young enough to be his daughter,” John sniped while the waitress swooped in to refill his coffee.

Brian smiled at the accuracy of his statement. “What about Ronnie and the kids? I hope they’re well. Are you still living in the house in Putney?”

“They’re well enough. And yes, we’re still there.”

Brian’s expression softened. There were so many things he wanted to say to his old friend. “And what about you? How are you doing these days?”

John looked down at his cup, tracing his index finger around the rim. “I’m alright at home with the family, but I don’t go out much. You have no idea what it took for me to come here today.”

The guitarist nodded a silent acknowledgment. Deaky had taken Freddie’s death especially hard. He’d been the youngest member of the band and the last to join. Freddie, always unfailingly kind, had sensed his vulnerability and promptly taken him under his wing. After the singer’s death, John had retired not only from music but from life, it seemed.

John explained, “When I’m in public, I can feel everyone staring at me, and I know they want to ask about Freddie. The thing is I can’t talk about him, not now, not ever.”

Brian nodded again. The months following Mercury’s passing had been the darkest of his life too. He had even briefly considered suicide. “His death was hell on all of us.”

“But you and Roger were able to carry on.”

“Not at first. As you recall, I had a pretty rough go of it for a while. I got through it by throwing myself into the music, working to complete Fred’s last album and organizing the tribute concert.”

“We said we’d disband after that. We agreed there could be no Queen without Freddie because Freddie _was_ Queen. But it never really stops, does it?” John’s voice had taken on an accusatory note.

Brian rolled his eyes. “If you mean the movie, it would have been made with or without our input. We were only there for Freddie—to protect his legacy.” He fixed his bandmate with a shrewd stare. “Since the release, album sales have been going through the roof. You’ll be pleased when you see your royalty checks.”

“This isn’t about money.”

“Then what is it? Didn’t you feel nostalgic seeing us together like that again?”

“It’s not like that for me,” John confessed. “Every time I think I’ve managed to put Freddie’s death behind me, something like this comes along and brings it all back again. That’s the reason I won’t join you onstage or at award ceremonies or in interviews. It’s not that I don’t want to do it. It’s that I can’t do it. It’s just too hard.” He took a shaky breath.

Brian reached across the table, clasping the hands of his fragile bandmate. “It’s okay, Deaky,” he said, unconsciously reverting to the familiar nickname. “I get it, I do. But why turn your back on Roger and me? You know we love you.”

John looked up, his eyes glistening with tears. “Don’t you see? It hurts too much to be around you. That’s really what I came to tell you today.”

Brian sat back in his chair with a stunned expression. It all made sense now. “I understand.”

“Will you talk to Roger for me?”

“I will, and I’ll make sure he understands too. I promise.” He added, “If you ever change your mind and want to see us again—”

But John had walked away without saying goodbye. Brian watched him go, knowing it was probably for the last time. He took out his phone and entered Roger’s number. The drummer answered on the third ring. “Rog, it’s me. Can I come over? I’ve got something I need to tell you.”


End file.
